Andrea Remke isn't a very touchy, feely kind of person. However, she's a mom and provides nurture and love to her kids. She was raised Catholic (it’s unclear if she’s still Catholic), goes to church every Sunday, and believes in the power of prayer, however, doesn't feel like she's a pro at praying.
"My extended family is pretty big on prayers — from Indiana to the Holy Land and back — boy do they love those prayers!" she writes. "But to be honest, I really don't know how to pray. Yes, I know how to lay in bed and give thanks for my kids, who are healthy and beautiful.
"I recite the bedtime prayer to them at night. You better believe every time the thermostat dips below freezing, I'm praising the heavens above that I have a house with heat to sleep in. But other than that, I'm not great at that thing called 'Prayer.'"
Every Sunday, Andrea is determined to get something out of her pastor's message. She says that she wants to be a better mother, be a better friend, and just be able to talk to God better.
"But every Sunday I feel numb, like a person simply going through the motions inside that church," she recalls. "I'm doing my best to get something out of it other than the free donuts afterward."
Andrea continues, "I don't know if any amount of holy water will ever be enough to soften and heal this cracked and broken heart that only dwells on sadness, resentment, and grief right now."
Andrea's husband passed away. She's "alone" and so "angry" because her husband isn't there anymore. She's expressed enough anger to the fact that she's even questioned her faith.
"What did he do to deserve death so early? Why couldn't it have been me?"
One evening after she put her kids down for bed, she stepped outside to let the dog out. She turned around and looked at their bedroom window — the last place where her husband took his last breath. She grew angry, and began to cry.
"I went to bed crying and mad at the world, mad at God, mad at myself for so much time wasted in this stupid, unfair life," she said.
The following morning, like most mornings since the passing of their dad, the children began asking questions:
"Where is he? What is he doing? Can he see us? Are dogs up there, too?" One of her twins even said that she wished she could turn back into a child when she goes to Heaven just so their daddy would recognize her.
Andrea told the kids that maybe their dad was holding their baby who was miscarried several years ago. This was news to them, but they were extremely interested in knowing how old the baby was, if it was a boy or girl. Andrea didn't know all the details but "maybe daddy knows now," she told them.
Just 45 minutes after dropping of the kids at school, Andrea received a text message from a friend who she hasn't seen recently. But this friend is a "Prayer Warrior." The text message reads:
"This may be a surreal question as I was praying for you this morning and the kids. I just saw Matthew in heaven with a child and he was so happy. Did you have a miscarriage?"
That question basically brought Andrea to her knees. Did God hear her crying last night?
"My eyes welled up with tears because I don't know how at that moment she would have known what I needed to know about him. I needed to know he was OK and that I was wrong about him just being in that box six feet under. All the tears of sadness and anxiety I cried last night must have been heard."
As she continued to reread the text in her kitchen, she turned to her refrigerator. There was a prayer card taped to it. It came in the mail from a complete stranger, she said.
"Tears are prayers too. They travel to God when there are no words to speak."
What do you think about this story? Have you ever experienced anything like this? Share your story with us. You can email it to firstname.lastname@example.org and it may be featured in the next article or post. In other news, this 14-year-old boy wrote an amazing poem. But when it’s read backward, your mouth will hit the floor. Check it out here!